Monday, April 16, 2012

You can survive with a broken heart.....

Today my heart broke into a million peices for the third time. The third time I had to leave a newborn baby and return back to work. This time was by far the least painful because I could find so much more solace in the fact that I'm leaving her with the most loving nanny, instead of a daycare, but it still hurt so bad.  I think when you have to work full time, something in your heart dies when you're away from your kids. If it didn't, being away from them for the majority of your day would be too painful & impossible. I prayed and prayed, and with the prayers of my sweet family & friends God got me thru the day and I survived and more importantly, the kids survived.  Viviana was the angel baby and slept all day long just like she always does. In fact, now that how long she sleeps was written down, I added it up and she sleeps over 18 hours in a 24 hour period, when apparently the average is 15 hours. I knew she was a sleep-a-holic like her mama! Hopefully when she's Judah and Quinn's age she still likes to sleep in :).... 

The things I will miss the most:

Snuggling, snuggling, and more snuggling. I tried to memorize these moments, holding a newborn baby is something you think you'll never forget; but when they're three, and four, and older, it's just hard to remember back to these days.

Watching the boys rock out on pot & pan drum sets while we jam out in the mornings.

Hearing the boys giggle together and decide to play with only the legs of little GI Joe toys (or whatever the guy is, with only half a body, it's hard to tell) for several days. Kids are so weird. LOL. 
Watching Vivi conquer new milestones and get bigger & bigger and see her little personality come out. 
Impromptu outings with family & friends.....

But I just remind myself there are seasons in life for everything. Seasons to stay home, seasons to work. And I will thank God for my season right now! And although I am not with them during the day, you'd better believe I will continue to make the most out of every night and every weekend!!


1 comment:

Julie said...

Awww, it's the hardest thing you'll ever do. To leave your sweet baby to go back to work. I know how much you love your kids and I know what a tough week it was for you, but you made it and it will get easier.

P.S. Love Via's little punk outfit, with her black drum onesie and pink tutu!

Love, Julie