Tuesday, December 28, 2010

The Inept Woman Cooks

I am postponing my after Christmas post to bring you this post.

One of my favorite blogs is http://thepioneerwoman.com/ - seriously, this woman's cooking section will make you believe you can build a house out of shallots and perfectly whipped brandy topping.

In case you didn't know this about me: 1. I hate to cook. It is my least favorite chore, next to scrubbing the underside of the toilet and mopping floors. 2. I never find joy/pride/fulfilment in my own hard work cooking a meal.  3. My A.D.H.D is showcased in full force when I attempt to cook and read recipes. The 4 instructions on the side of a rice a roni box may as well be written in japanese. And forget a more involved recipe, cut butter- umm, what? Like with scissors? Yea, it's that bad.
4. Thank God I'm married to one of the best cooks I know or my family would be screwed. Well not really, I get it done if I HAVE to, but goodness do I HATE to cook. Ok... enough said about that. On to my story.

So reading The Pioneer Woman cooks inspires me greatly. Her amazing pictures make you think you can do anything with food, specifically cooking her exact meals, because her pictures make it look so EASY.  So, in attempting to prepare one of her dishes (or a variation of it) I decided to go ahead and prepare her chicken preparation recipe so I can have a couple servings of (essentially boiled) chicken to quickly throw it in my "so easy a cave man can do it" dishes I'm making for the rest of the week.

It's freaking frying/browing chicken and putting it in chicken stock to boil, how hard can it be- RIGHT?

These are all HER Pictures of what it is SUPPOSED to look like:
Ok, so I've already cleaned the kitchen twice tonight and I have a bandaged finger, which I've changed the bandage 3 times tonight, so I refuse to touch the chicken with my right hand. Already foreseeing a problem, wondering if I have any hair coloring gloves.. umm, no such luck. So I grab the stupid chicken breast (with bones, major mistake-tried to save money by buying the crazy chicken) with my left hand and throw it on the flour. And the little chicken ribs stab my fingers. It sends chills down my spine. *note to self, never buy chicken with bones in it again. Guillermo tells me I should probably season it before I put it on the flour, but I refuse to dirty another plate so I tell him to hold it in the sink while I season it. It's like "how many monkeys does it take to put salt and pepper and flour on a chicken"..

And her flour is so even and nicely powdery all over her plate, after my first few peices of chicken my flour is a knappy mess and I feel like I have flour wall paper paste all over my left hand.  At this point, I'm slapping the chicken down and if flour gets on it- good, if not, whateve.
I follow her directions to the last detail, look at all that wonderful butter and oil, but in my giant pan it all goes to one side and only one peice of chicken gets in the good stuff, dang it Ree, I don't have a cast iron pot.

Her chicken looks so good I want to lick my monitor and slap Colonel Sanders, but my chicken is turning out tan and doesn't even appear to have flour stuff on it.

Seriously WTH! I should've bought the rotisserie chicken instead of staying up until ten forty five frying/browning chicken. The pioneer woman had me believing I could make my own homemade cinnamon rolls! Appearantly you have to  have the skills to be able to split atoms in your kitchen to figure out how to hand make cinnamon rolls. Well, Guillermo says the chicken smells really good, so I guess that means I better go see what's in the dang pot. And as far as picking bones out, I think I'll just put the whole thing in the cuisineart and pulvarize the peice and tell the kids it's like eating watermelon, if they get a hard peice, just spit it out.

Friday, December 24, 2010

Happy Birthday my Lil Christmas Bunny and Happy Anniversary to the Best Man I Know!

I can't even describe the bond I have with my little Quinn.  I remember how magical and beautiful it was when he was born, the second time around I made sure to slow down and enjoy every moment. We snuggled every single day for months and he'll still slow down for a snuggle and he still looks up at me with those same sweet adoring eyes two years later. He's my little mama's boy, but he's 110% rough and tumble boy. He is a total clown and loves to be dramatic. He laughs all the time and is a total and complete joy to our family.

Quinn is obsessed with horses, so he had a cowboy themed party. Yee-haw!

I made a cowboys in the "snow" cake with a marshmallow layer in between chocolate fudge cake and whipped cream topping. By the time we ate the cake it had totally fallen apart like it was melted. Oh well!

Quinn love his posse! Thank you for making his birthday so special!
Like all good cowboys, we had a campfire.

Quinn's birthday is December 15th and our anniversary is the 16th... makes for a BUSY but FUN week!
Seriously, Guillermo is the BEST person I know. He is so hard working and the most loving human being EVER. I love you SO much babe.  5 years together! Woot woot.

And this is our annual anniversary outing, to the James Island County lights (where our reception was)... each year, we take pics in front of the tree to see how our family has grown!

And then our work Christmas party on Dec 17th! My coworkers really know how to do Christmas right. What a great party. I am so blessed by my new coworkers.
The Mayor, Minnie Blackwell.

My boss (the City Administrator) and his wife: Johnny and Terri Cribb.
Two of my favorite peeps at work: Linda (HR Director) and Gale (Clerk of Court).

I just cannot believe how GOOD God is to our family.

I quite often wonder, am I instilling in my kids the same passion and love I had when I was very young for Jesus? That is something you can't force/teach, you can only show and talk about Jesus often and steer them towards their own personal relationship with Christ. When we driving home (late) from the lights at JI Co. park Judah said, "Mama! We HAVE to stop and get baby Jesus a birthday present!" with such conviction. So we stopped at Marshall's at 10:30pm and Judah got to pick out baby Jesus a birthday present, and instead of talking about his own gifts, he just wants to talk about the gift for baby Jesus.  That was the best gift for a Mama and Daddy ever.

Have the BEST Christmas ever!!!

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

'Twas the Night Before Christmas... Hold Up! That's Played Out!

........And the grownups got some presents too
A new TV and a stere-ooh.
A new Seville 'bout as blue as the sky
The best that money couldn't buy

'Cause money could never ever buy the feelin
The one that comes from not concealin'
The way you feel about your friends
And this is how the story ends

The dude he heads back at the pole
Up north where everything is cold
But if he were right here tonight
He'd say "Merry Christmas! And to all -- a good night!"

Ahhh, Christmas Rap...

Last week was Nativity week, each day they made a different person/animal from the nativity.  And they learned choreographed break dances to the Christmas rap. ;)

And we celebrated James b-day! Happy birthday to our amazing friend!

We love cake face. 
More cake please.

Meat cupcakes. So in right now.

One of my favorite gifts, is the gift of time with my family. The kind that you get from being away, with each other. And normally that is an impossibility for several reasons: don't have time, don't have money, blah blah blah. So we decided to use our Christmas money on a one day trip to Myrtle beach, despite poo-poo weather, we had a great time.

I researched all the free fun in Myrtle before I went and we got a free visit and picture with Santa (although he looked like a creepy Santa with a fake beard- I guess you get what you "paid" for) and a free ride on a merry go round!

Quinn wasn't sure he wanted to sit on Santa's lap (don't blame you dude)..

The big awesome room Firoze hooked us up with! It was all fun and games until Quinn went face first into the corner of the coffee table.

Lots of swimming in the awesome indoor pool!

Look, no "toys" except back bubbles. Ummmm, I'd rather you keep your "back bubbles" to yourself!! If communicable diseases are not allowed in the pool, those shouldn't either.  Pooooooot.

Look at that dreary weather... c'mon....the one weekend we're out of town, raining and gray the whole time..

So the next free activity was Christmas Towne 2010 at a convention center. Free Train rides, Story time, visits with Santa and ice skating! Quinny had to wear the girl's skates, lol.

The next famous figure skater? Umm, probably not.

Blades of Glory right there! 
So I think to make up for the horrible weather, we had quite the spectacular light show as the sun went down.

It was like the sky was on fire!

So beautiful.. the older I get, the more I appreciate nature. Bur Burrrrrrrrr.

Guess who turns 2 tomorrow!! AND got a big boy bed for his birthday!! 
My precious little baby is all grown up! Tear!

And here is my sweet little man so excited to see his lil' bro moving "up" in the world!

Friday, December 10, 2010

Yo Ho Ho Ho, a Santa's Life for Me!

Christmas, Christmas and more Christmas. It really doesn't get any better than this.

My City (City of Hanahan), I should call it Christmas land- it makes me so uber happy- had it's tree lighting and a Christmas parade. They were so fun!

Our good friend Scott came with us, the best part was when he sang an impromptu Christmas Solo "I want a hippopotomous for christmas" (worst christmas song ever, btw- sorry Guillermo and Elizabeth).... and then he did interpretive dance during the Hanahan Middle School performance. What a fun guy. And I'm so kidding, he did none of these things in case you couldn't tell it was a joke.

Look who attended the Christmas Tree Lighting! Judah was SO concerned that his sleigh was too small (one of the light up lawn ornaments outside)...

Doesn't it look like the life size Santa is pushing their stroller? I should put life size Santa at my desk and pretend like he's working!
Here is the montage of Christmas wonderland in my building, it really can't get much better than this, well if they had freshed baked christmas cookies and music streaming thru speakers all day, that would be nice. ;)

My little charlie brown tree looks pathetic compared to the City's display. I was the ONLY one at CPD who had their own tree, here there is Christmas everywhere (more proof I'm at the right place).

And this was my favorite entry into the Christmas Parade!  Yo Ho Ho!

No Christmas Season wouldn't be complete without the Judson's Christmas party. The boys literally zoomed cars around the coffee table for hours. 
Our peeps, the Judsons..  
and more Judsons.. such friends that are like family 

Ok, so this outhouse was an incredible gift from my friend Gale....
You press the button and Santa sings and says things like "you'd better pass me a new roll, or I'll be forced to use my good list" and then he passes gas and the whole thing lights up and moves.  It's like the hit of the season. Well this "Santa" is really teaching the boys what Santa does. Judah thinks he lives in there and when he was playing at Chick Fil A one day he told the other kid "hey, remember when santa was in out bathroom pooting?" (the other parent probably thought we were INSANE for blaming that on "Santa") and then the other day we were in a store and Quinn saw Santa and started yelling "Santa poots..... Santa poots" at the top of his lungs!

I know it's a little late, but if you need Toddler activity ideas for Thanksgiving for next year, here are a few fun craft ideas the boys did..... 

And starting our Christmas decorations.....

Have a GREAT weekend!