Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Please pray for us!

Thursday is going to be a very hard day for me, as has this past week, really the last three months.... with both boys, the start of my maternity leave started a countdown to the end of my maternity leave, it's a burden that effects everyday of my leave, that one day this snuggling/playing/loving 24/7 of my babies will end. A part of me dies each time I have to turn over my baby at 3 months old to a daycare worker to spend more time with them during the week then I will. With both Judah and Quinn, I think, what can we do to make it work for me to stay at home. I rack my brain for hours imagining ways it will work out... but I always come back to the same conclusion- when Guillermo is in nursing school full time either this fall/coming spring, I will be the breadwinner and the only person with benefits (for our whole family). It would be very stupid of me to leave a job with so much security as working for the city and then hope that when Guillermo starts school that a job that pays well with good benefits will just pop open for me- and immediately so reluctantly I have to work up until the point where Gmo is in school full time. ANYways- I know God can work miracles, I've begged Him to open a door for me to have a secure job where I can stay home more with the kids.. until God opens this door, please pray for us this thursday.
1. Please pray that God surrounds both boys as they're in daycare fulltime, pray for His love and angels to surround them when they're not able to be held all day and this will be the first time Quinn is left by himself a lot during the day (since he can't be held by the two teachers all day long).. and selfishly I've held him a LOT during these three months. Also, please pray for Judah because he's been with me most days since I've been off and he definitely misses us, especially his "Bunny" when he's gone.
2. Please pray for their health. Judah was sick at least two weeks out of each month from the moment we put him in daycare until he was about 16months old.. pretty normal for daycare... .but it's horrible to have sick kids!
3. Please pray for me to have a peace and not be a complete mental case once I'm back at work, and to also not be resentful to this situation....it's hard when so many people around me are able to stay at home.... and I get so depressed about this situation, even now with Judah it's still hard on me to take him to daycare and he's been going for almost 19 months! I want to cry almost every monday after our weekend together- and if you know me- I'm not an emotional person.....
4. Please pray that our time together as a family is supernaturally multiplied and so meaningful that it makes up for the time lost while at work.
I'm not sure who all reads this blog, but if you read this and pray for us, I can't thank you enough.... we really need your prayers, it's only because of God that we got thru this time with Judah and we'll all get thru this time with Quinn.


The Tylers said...

Courtney, My heart breaks for you & I am in tears. I cannot imagine how hard this must be for you...actually I can because it is why I quit my job right before I had Thomas. Fortunately, Jamie is a teacher (benefits, salary) or we would be in the same situation. You know I will be praying for you but besides that, what can I do for you? If it will make it easier, I could take Q for a while until he is a little older? Remind yourself of the benefits of daycare-socialization, better immune systems for school, wide variety of activities! I am sure they are surrounded by loving caregivers. The kids won't remember these early years and in due time, you will be able to stay home with them. Q will learn how to sit by himself (which needs to be done anyway) & he will be held & loved on. You will be a million times more grateful for every minute you spend with them. I am not bashing stay at home moms, but honestly, sometimes we take this time for granted & don't cherish each moment like we should...quality over quanity. Thomas would much rather me spend 2 hours completely loving on him & spending 1 on 1 time than all day with me cooking, cleaning, and not paying attention to him. Hang in there. We love you and will be praying for all of you.

Robinson Family said...

I am so sorry sweetie! I just prayed for you and will keep praying.

eli + james said...

I knew you would. :]

Never doubt that you are an AMAZINGGGGG mother. One of the best I have ever known. They will always know that no one loves them more than their momma + daddy. I pray that everything continues to go well, the weekends are filled with precious time + love + that you are a stay at home momma in no time.

Those boys are such a blessing + we LOVELOVELOVE them! + you guys.

Love, Auntie E + Uncle Jamie (it pains me to write that...hahahaha!)