Thursday is going to be a very hard day for me, as has this past week, really the last three months.... with both boys, the start of my maternity leave started a countdown to the end of my maternity leave, it's a burden that effects everyday of my leave, that one day this snuggling/playing/loving 24/7 of my babies will end. A part of me dies each time I have to turn over my baby at 3 months old to a daycare worker to spend more time with them during the week then I will. With both Judah and Quinn, I think, what can we do to make it work for me to stay at home. I rack my brain for hours imagining ways it will work out... but I always come back to the same conclusion- when Guillermo is in nursing school full time either this fall/coming spring, I will be the breadwinner and the only person with benefits (for our whole family). It would be very stupid of me to leave a job with so much security as working for the city and then hope that when Guillermo starts school that a job that pays well with good benefits will just pop open for me- and immediately so reluctantly I have to work up until the point where Gmo is in school full time. ANYways- I know God can work miracles, I've begged Him to open a door for me to have a secure job where I can stay home more with the kids.. until God opens this door, please pray for us this thursday.
1. Please pray that God surrounds both boys as they're in daycare fulltime, pray for His love and angels to surround them when they're not able to be held all day and this will be the first time Quinn is left by himself a lot during the day (since he can't be held by the two teachers all day long).. and selfishly I've held him a LOT during these three months. Also, please pray for Judah because he's been with me most days since I've been off and he definitely misses us, especially his "Bunny" when he's gone.
2. Please pray for their health. Judah was sick at least two weeks out of each month from the moment we put him in daycare until he was about 16months old.. pretty normal for daycare... .but it's horrible to have sick kids!
3. Please pray for me to have a peace and not be a complete mental case once I'm back at work, and to also not be resentful to this situation....it's hard when so many people around me are able to stay at home.... and I get so depressed about this situation, even now with Judah it's still hard on me to take him to daycare and he's been going for almost 19 months! I want to cry almost every monday after our weekend together- and if you know me- I'm not an emotional person.....
4. Please pray that our time together as a family is supernaturally multiplied and so meaningful that it makes up for the time lost while at work.
I'm not sure who all reads this blog, but if you read this and pray for us, I can't thank you enough.... we really need your prayers, it's only because of God that we got thru this time with Judah and we'll all get thru this time with Quinn.